All for the name of love....
While sitting in church yesterday, during the part where they list the prayer requests, one request was made for strength for a girl who had lost BOTH of her grandparents. Hearing something like this, I immediately thought that something horrible happened. (I mean really, wouldn't you if you had an overactive imagination like mine?) Something along the lines of a fatal car accident, a faulty a/c unit or maybe something romantic like the Notebook. So naturally, as we are walking out of church, I ask my mother for the back story and without fail, she knew. It ends up that the cause of death for this elderly couple was a homicide/suicide. The grandmother had been ailing for years with Alzheimer's and the grandfather was recently diagnosed with a terminal disease. He was given months, if not less, to live. So in order to help his family and out of love for his wife, he ended both of their lives with one fatal shot. I walked out of church and drove home in a complete state of shock. You don't ever hear about things like that happening...that's just something meant for movie and tv plots right?!? So due to my need to want to know everything, I googled it..."murder suicide elderly couple, Texas". Not knowing really where to start. To my dismay and complete horror....the number of stories/hits that popped up were extreme...we're talking 23,500 results in .18 seconds extreme. All of the stories listed were about couples who had done the same exact thing. Couples that decided before getting sick, that they wouldn't become a burden to their families, couldn't live without the other and agreed to a 'suicide-pact'.
So this got me thinking internet, I know, dangerous. My question for you, would you consider agreeing to that with your love?
Don't get me wrong, growing up and visiting my grandparents in the hospital and various nursing homes, my sister and I decided early on that we'd never let the other be put in a place like that , just waiting for death. But I doubt now, as I did then, that we'd ever act on it. well that and some days, I doubt that I'll make it to 40, let alone 80!!! I understand how they didn't want to put that kind of burden on their families. Taking care of an ailing loved one is not fun. My best friend did it for her grandpa during the last year of his life. There are days that she has completely blocked out because the man that she cared for was not her grandpa. But on the flip side, she got to know and love her grandpa like no one else in the family ever did.
I never did find the story about the couple that we prayed for in church, which is probably a good thing. I really don't need to know everything.
House vs. Home
A friend of my mine recently made a comment about “going back to your home” to which I responded nonchalantly to “house, not home”…thus causing an in-depth conversation about House vs. Home. What makes a house a home or in the reverse, what doesn’t make a house a home? The main point that they were making was that home is where you make it…but I guess I’m more of a romantic… you know the old adage…“Home is where you heart is”. So for now, my quant little apartment is where I rest my head, where I work on my cooking skills (or the lack there of) and where I dream of one day finding home...
Labels: thoughts
Too Much TV.
I watch too much TV. This is a given. I thought that when I moved out I
wouldn’t get cable having one less bill to pay and I would be driven to study because really, nothing would be on. So I
didn’t get cable. I have 7 channels and 2 of them are fuzzy. Failed there. But I don’t care, I’ll watch anyways. Don’t get me wrong, I still do study….like when there’s football on one channel, golf on another
channel,
Nascar on another channel. I’ll mute the football and study…or take a nap. Any time I see
Dennis Haysbert, no matter if it’s on a different
TV show or an Allstate Commercial, I call him President Palmer. On certain shows, I can play name that tune and usually get the show right in the first three notes. Or there are some shows that it's so based on my fictional life. There are certain days that I will lie to a client and say that I’m busy and can't do something that night because I’
ve got a date. With my
TV. I know, just sad. I have now found that the major channels have all of their full episodes online. So even though I don’t have
TiVo, I can still watch all of my shows. I would ask for help, but I think that I’m beyond help. Yet as I write and reread this, I know that I’m not alone. So to all of you, who are glued to the Boob Tube and cannot live without your
TiVo, do not fear you
aren’t alone! I know there’s got to be at least one other person out there watches the same amount, if not more
tv, than you. Oh...got to go, Samantha Who is about to come on...
(On a side note, I did watch, for the first time ever about 15 of Nascar because a friend of mine’s name was on Dale Jr.’s car. I did not see it abruptly fell asleep. When I awoke from my beauty rest 2 plus hours later, the cars were still driving. In a circle. With a lot of laps to go. I changed the channel.)
Please excuse my absent.
I’ve been a little busy. I know, same old story. But honestly I have. Two days after that last post, a good friend from High School died in a car accident. Thus rounding out April, as predicted, to total suck. I worked through May and found myself in June turning 26. I started taking the CPA exam in July and blinked to find myself barreling through October. I still like my job, but some days I wish I could just sleep instead. I know that I’m losing touch with A LOT of people, so I will try, with the help of the trusty internet to get back “in-touch” with whoever dares to click onto this page. So I’m back. For now. Maybe sometime in the near future I can gussy this place up a bit, it’s a little worn and out dated…but not today. Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow…
On Another Note
I have 3 tv channels, because a.) I’m cheap, b.) I need to be doing other things than watching tv, and c.) I’m never really home long enough or awake long enough to watch much tv. And in order to get all three channel clearly I have to move the little box. Sad I know. But of those three channels, I have very limited viewing (CBS, ABC, PBS) and on Monday nights at 9pm there is no much on. And right now I must say that the Bachelor-London is gay. So super retarded-ly lame. Don’t get me wrong, his accent is nice. But basically he just wants to see how far he can get with all 3 remaining ladies. Classy really.
Sorry I needed something happier than the prior post.
Not in a Good Place
April has sucked thus far. Well kind-of. It has so many ups and downs that I cannot stand it any longer. I want April to be over. I have been to 3 Astros’ games and they’ve won 1 and it was the one game that was free (bad). I finally was able to go outside and got a suntan (good). I watched a good friend from High School bury her mom (of course, bad). I was in Baltimore for a week (good) but my brother-in-law’s g-pa died (bad) and I couldn’t go because I was in Baltimore (still bad). I started talking again to a friend that I haven’t talked to in a long while (good) but I don’t know if it means anything (bad). I cut off all my hair (great), on the Monday after that Saturday I jacked up my tire/rim and it’s now day 7 with a HUGE rental truck/suv that I’m now terrified that I’m going to hit something. (really really really bad) and just really want my car back One of my best-friends is not doing well emotionally due to some home issues and I don’t know what to do. (bad, just flat out bad). I’m not a crier, but I find myself wanting to cry more and more…I just don’t know any more. I really think that I need a vacation. I need to get away, because I fear that if I don’t, I will run away. But May starts Thursday. So it will be better. It has to get better. It must get better. My car is suppose to come back tomorrow…Lord willing. In 2 Fridays, the firm is paying for a booze cruise…next day is the firm family picnic, so I get to see my little kiddo. Also, it’s the month before my birthday…so it will get better…I just pray that it’s sooner than in 2 weeks….Lord help me.
Labels: to damn emotional
